Unreadable Dialog
For example, Though I love the ethnic dialect of Scotland, trying to reproduce it via the written word was a huge mistake. Misspelling words to try to duplicate the Scottish inflections merely slowed the reader down. I found myself struggling as I reread the text. I came to the realization that I could still convey the feel and flavor of the Scottish brogue without making it sound like Rabbie Burns himself had written the story. By simply interjecting a word like "no'" in place of "not", the same purposes were achieved. For example:"Ach, keep yer heed doon lad, I'll no' tell ye agin".
It's a distraction trying to sort out the words of this sentence. The same feel can be achieved in a simpler form, as follows.
"Ach, keep your head down, I'll no' tell you again."
The sentence structure itself helps to provide the feel and rhythm of the highlands. Anyway, after learning this lesson I corrected all the dialog in my manuscript and the flow was greatly improved, but there were still other log jams to clear.
Useless Information
There were a lot of useless things cluttering up the body of the manuscript, for example, I spent a great deal of time talking about the political struggles and bureaucracy of the Azorean culture. Why they were at war, what their power infrastructure entailed, etc... Unfortunately, no one gave a rat's behind about any of that and it did nothing to further the story. I axed all of it.One of the main things I had a hard time resolving was how could an advanced civilization like the Azoreans, arrive on Earth and be using rudimentary swords, bows and arrows. Initially I tried a lengthy explanation about how their civilization was science oriented and that they were a peaceful society with that had not known war. I explained that with the destruction of their planet they were caught off guard and could not develop modern weaponry fast enough. It took pages and pages to explain and the reader was forced to wade through this diatribe before continuing the story. Like being at an exciting movie and having some narrator provide a boring explanation just as the heroin was about to vanquish her foe. It took the readers out of the story. I still had to resolve the problem, but I realized I had to find a brief, non intrusive way to do it. The final solution was deceptively simple. I just destroyed their weapons bay when the transports were hit with the planet's final explosion. The blast destroyed their propulsion systems, why couldn't it get rid of their weapons at the same time? Too Convenient? Perhaps, but at least the reader can be on with the story, and it's believable... well as believable as any of this can be.
So, on it went. I continued my surgery on the story and when I was done, almost ten full chapters lay strewn on the floor. I had a leaner and more manageable version of the story. And so Azorea, The Piper of the Glen, fourth Edition was born. I felt bad for all those who had purchased my earlier versions, but I suppose that is all part of the creative process.
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